The beginning of the end

Today was a good day.

Unlike many in the past 2 weeks I spent the day outside the home. A day in Clarkesville with Mindy having my hair cut,colored,a facial and massage! What did I do to deserve this? And for free? All courtesy of Mindy and her school.It was a nice change and something I have never had done before,all at one time that is. I am not "stressed" but it was nice to know that when I am these next two weeks,I did somewhat prepare myself for it all.
My hair looks beautiful and my face as perfect as can be. Thank you Mindy Armour!

This week is very important for me. I go and pick up my husband on Friday morning. He will be back for close to 2 weeks! I have busted my butt in cleaning my room,ready for all the he will store here from his 6 months gone. The day is finally here and I cannot stop time to slow it down,nor do I want too,I do want him home,I am just not prepared for the goodbyes that are about to ensue. Many of them I will cry,few I will flip a finger to.(you know who you are)
We have not found a home yet in Norfolk,it will be done in time before we move,it is a painful task for those who have uprooted their entire life and moved out of state,we all share this feeling. Though I am not the only one of my kind to do so,I keep that in mind.Many women before me have done it,why can't I?




I CAN AND I WILL!!


This morning as I enter Mindy's school,I hear tiny footsteps come rushing from behind my back,it was Cameron.He gave me the biggest smile,hug and kiss and said he missed me.(it had only been 5 days since I have last seen him,but seems like 5 years)
That boy,I am going to miss more than words can say.
With our possessions %80 packed,I am about to enter "hell week"
The beginning of the end.



Thank you all for the support,shoulders,ears and eyes through-out this process.
Started with 48 days to go,now I am 72 hours away from having Joey back to me.




"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul and to me, this has always been enough."

Long days and nights

It has been a long time since I have wrote. Many things have happened in the past 2 months.

When I last wrote,it was me and Joeys last day in Chicago for his graduation. He has since gone to Pensacola for his A school. We were married there on July 30th. We are going to be stationed in Norfolk,Va. With the distance of 7 1/2 hours the toll is almost as hard as him being in Chicago. we only have 3 weeks left and it has really started to get to me. This past week has been the hardest. He has been sick with pneumonia as well as my dad being sick and in the hospital for 5 days. Both are feeling much better. I feel so helpless,couldn't help Joey nor my dad.With trips to the hospital daily and then attempting to speak to Joey and make sure things were ok for him. Been a whirl wind experience. Keeping myself busy with friends and cleaning anything I can get my hands on(it passes the time quickly)Lack of sleep,bad choices of food on the run,house turned upside down, I am ready for a vacation to put it all behind me. It will all work itself out,just getting there is the problem. I thought the first deployment was going to be hard.Try marrying,then immediately leaving to go back home,without your husband.

Long days and even longer nights.

It's just the first year,oh lord

My last day

Tomorrow is my last day in the city with Joey
The past two days have been good. Very weird I might add. It came as a shock to me that I was so quiet around him.I have many things to say but for some reason.....can't get them out!

Being away for so long,people might think that it makes you grow closer.I know we have but being quiet beside him is not my typical daily routine. Knowing I can't run up to him and plop a big kiss on him or hold his hand (him being in uniform,he has a certain 'code of conduct' he has to uphold)
I respect him and the choice he has made for himself and for me,but I am having a hard time understanding as to why he has done this now. Things have changed.Not in the bad way some may think when I say that,but in a way we have never been before. You would think being in a city as large as Chicago,you would go crazy about the sights,people and the noises. It has been all a distraction for me. I am only focusing on him, and nothing else.

Graduation was wonderful yesterday.Pictures will be up soon.I can not explain the feeling I had when the doors rolled up after much anticipation and you have 438 men and women behind them,all marching,loudly I might add and come marching in. It was quit a sight to see.I wish all his friends could have been there to see him.I spotted him within 10 seconds of him entering the building. Approaching him in his Navy 'whites' was a very nervous feeling for me. Handsome as ever,but I was very intimidated!


Tomorrow is a new day and we will be together alone walking around and we can take our time and be able hopefully to get back in tune as to where I done cry every time I look at him.

I thought that the day he left was going to be hard.
I have no clue as to what I have in store for my emotions tomorrow.Wish me the best.
Waterproof mascara......here I come


Got some Neil Young in my head:

"Once I thought I saw you
In a crowded hazy bar
Dancing on the light from the star to star
Far across the moonbeams
I know that's who you are
I saw your brown eyes turning once to fire

You are like a hurricane
There's calm in your eyes
And I'm getting blown away
To somewhere safer where feelings stay
I want to love you
But I'm getting blown away

I am just a dreamer
But you are just a dream
You could have been anyone to me
Before that moment you touched my lips
That perfect feeling when time just slips
Away between us on your foggy trips"





to the moon joey
more than ever

Eve of Graduation

SOOOOOOO..............


It's 1154.PM and it is the eve of Joey's graduation. I have been in Chicago for two three days now and cannot wait till tomorrow.This has been a very long day. Walking around downtown Chicago for the second day in a row with flip flops and it being 900 million degress(actually only 89) all adds up to one very anxious girl on the verge of a breakdown(not really but I like to think of it that way)

A few hours from now I will be seeing him graduate and my feelings cannot be explained right now.
I have made it through bootcamp.

Success.

I got my call yesterday from him and the words "I am a sailor baby" were said,without hesitation......my eyes blew up with tears. Im in Chicago and crying my eyes out.

But It's all over now.
Need to get into bed now.

Long day ahead of me tomorrow.

MY departure day!

So today I am leaving for Chicago.
If you know me,then you know that I have been stir crazy and cannot shut up or would not shut up. Thanks for putting up with me. You know who you are.My thanks to you all are more than appreciated and our friendship has grown.

I have everything except for hangers in my suitcase. I have over packed,yet again. Last night I was ok. This morning,uuugggghhhhhh
I about freaked out. Its just the anxious flowing throughout my mind and it has got the best of me. But,I am ready.
This past weekend I reminded myself of how close me and Joey really are.Thinking of all the good and bad times we have experienced together. It made me laugh,it made me cry.There is one time that pops out more than others. Driving down the road to get a midnight milkshake and he was smiling.It was a smile I hadn't seen before. At that point I didn't realize that it was a "Oh,I think I love this girl" smile. It took me a few days to give that smile back.I wanted to make sure I felt it the same way. Three days later,I said it.
And our story began.

Since July 15th 2009, we have been on a whirlwind experience and the day that I dreaded(him leaving) has came and gone. I am proud of myself yet,shocked because I didn't think I would have been so 'o.k' with it.
Now it is the week of seeing him and the day I leave. Many people said it will go by fast,and I wont lie,it has.(Having strong people around me has help also)
He has missed out on quite a lot not being in the dot-on-the-map Maysville. I have kept quiet on a lot of things but lord,I am going to spill it all out when I see him.
I will be taking many pictures on the trip and plan to make sure he sees each and everyone of them. He deserves to see the great city of Chicago just as much as I do.

First leg of the Navy journey down,86729594760285938574982059 more to go.



"To the moon"

Solitaire

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.........


.........Actually..........I don't!

I'm sure everyone has heard that song once in their life. It seems to be my theme song here recently.
"Ok....I'll do this for an hour,then move onto something else for 2 hours then it will be.....2:30pm.....grrrr"
What in the world,why is time passing so slowly? Is it just me people? Guessing not by the head shaking that followed.
I have 23 days till My Joey gets home. I am on a downward slope and time is just not on my side here recently. I get involved in something and I just can't stay focused. Evey little thing reminds me of him. Not to mention the box I just unpacked of our paperwork neither of us every goes through just because it is so time consuming.
It took me 13 minutes.

We are so unsettled right now. For the past 3 years we have been living somewhat out of boxes. It's a hard concept to grasp when those who know us knew we had an apartment together. But even then,we knew our time was short there and didn't fully unpack everything. I had a fit earlier when the under the bed bag I put Joey's clothes in wouldn't fit under the bed. I did not want it in the rooms downstairs. I want it here with me. I even need his cologne next to my bed. Just so when I walk by I get a whiff of it every now and then.
It has only been a few weeks and I am this bad. We have a loooonnnnngggggg road ahead of us and this is how I am being for boot camp. [insert Homer Simpson head slap and 'DOH!' here]

I was able to speak to him for a while this past Sunday. I cried for the first 3 minutes. Uncontrollably. He finally got me under control and then......I lost it again.He is doing ok so far. Blew out his knee,and being in physical therapy has made him a little stronger. He will be able to do "Hell Week". Which is exactly what it sounds like.
Each division goes through firefighting,flooding,team building and much much more for a few days together. Joeys favorite part is going to be the guns. I don't know what they are shooting,I just know they will have bullets and they are really loud. We talked about the move, Florida and.......marriage. We have decided to get married as soon as we can. Next month we will be married to each other. It is something a girl dreams of. I, am terrified. Not to be married to him, but the experience as a whole. I know we will make it.(just look what we have been through already) The dress,the invitations,the guest list,the flowers,the ......cake. Lord I am so picky. We will be going to the courthouse first and then a larger wedding down the road when he is more settled as to where he will be.And me to of course. I told him some things I have been doing. And I heard of what he has been up to as well. He sounded different.His voice was,older. He was tired and worn out beyond belief. More than I could imagine. More than I wanted too.He has a few friends there but a 90% of the time they can't talk.He is living a life of solitude while I am playing Solitaire.
In 23 days people can accomplish many things. I am just trying to make it out alive. The Chicago trip is coming on fast and I have mixed emotions of excitement and nervousness. Time will tell.

A storm is rolling in right now.There is an eerie silence outside. The calm before the storm if you will. Peaceful yet nerve racking. Not sure as to which I am more afraid of.


Oasis never said it more perfectly
"Now that your mine
I'll find a way
Of chasing the sun
Let me be the one that shines with you
In the morning when you don't know what to do
We're two of a kind
We'll find a way
To do what we've done"

24 days in....

Been a while since my last post. Florida was great.Just enough sun and plenty to keep me busy. Been home for a week but each day is getting harder and harder for me.I should be looking at the glass half empty instead of half full(it's in my mind that way,hard to change that fact)
This past week has been full of getting my room to a somewhat 'normal' state and plenty of hanging out with friends.Days are moving by faster than I thought. Guess it helps that I am watching about 2 movies a day.Makes me sound like a slob but hey,it's the truth.

I received my first letter from Joey yesterday.He is doing well. Better than I imagined. I just hope that feeling continues as the days get more intense for him. As I was reading it,I heard his voice in the background with the 'lol's' and 'ha-ha's'. His wisdom teeth were pulled(a feat in itself) and did not even suffer.Made my stomach turn thinking of him going through something that scary without me. (And for those who say any type of teeth pulling is not a big deal,they are lying. It is and no one is ever quite prepared for it.)
He misses me. Something in the back of my mind was saying he was glad to get away from me and everyone else but I know now that wasn't the case. He was worried that the move and what I have to go through is becoming to much for me to handle. Figures.....he has one of the hardest jobs around and he is worried about me. I don't tell him every little thing of what goes wrong,there's no need to do that. He has to stay focused and as do I.

I am going to marry that boy,you watch and see



''we said we'd walk together baby come what may
that come the twilight should we lose our way
if as we are walkin' a hand should slip free
ill wait for you
and should I fall behind
wait for me......''



35 days
(to the moon)

The Sunshine State

I have been here since Sunday night and have not burned.
As of yet....

It has been relaxing but also a lot of running around to see as many places as I can.
I started writing Joey letters even though I don't have his address yet. I don't want one thing to be let out of not telling him whats going on here. The past two nights have been extremely hard without him.Much like any other woman in my same shoes, I have to remind myself (what seems like twice a day) that I will make it.
Tonight his brother Josh and his wife Lacy came down. Josh recently returned from Haiti and they are taking a much needed vacation together. I love being around the two of them.The feeling they have for each other glow and you can't help but be instantly attracted to them for it. Lacy is very easy to talk to and I never feel like I am being judged when talking or asking her questions. Feels like we have our own little bond in this craziness of military "deployment" we have both shared. I am glad to have her with down here with me.Only if it is for a few days until they head off to Disney World.
It has been a long day and should be better tomorrow,which is Mother's Day.(and Im not with my mom for this-I do not think I have ever missed one until now)

It is very late and to help shred off the tears I am forcing myself to sleep.



11 Days in.....


S.B.C.P

Insomnia

So, I have not writing the past few days. They have been pretty hard but also good.
Joey left on Wednesday at 12:07. After a few rough days of no sleep,aggravation,and lots of water he finally took his oath and headed out on the bus to the airport. The drive back from Fort Gillem was hard, I drove as fast and as hard as I could away from that place. I was able to speak to him a few more times that day. At the Atlanta airport as well as in Chicago. We talked about the silliest things and he tried to keep me laughing as much as possible. Even though I was hiding the crying as quiet as I could. He told me he loved me and couldn't wait to get back home.We both knew that it would be a while but the sound of it just sounded so pleasing at that moment.

Today, my family and I moved us out of our first apartment. Without him being there was a difficult task but family being there made the day go by faster. Mom setup my room and I will soon be going to sleep (if Lucy will stop snoring anytime soon) As well as the fact of me driving to Florida in the morning.I am passing Lucy over to Debbie and having a little mini vacation. This last step,of letting Lucy go will tear me up inside for a while. I have never bonded with a pet as much as her.Silly to say but true. She loves being around me and I know it. I will be feeling even more lost without her around when he is gone.

Not having him sleeping beside me is weird. VERY weird. Being together so much in such a little amount of time and having it all taken away is an ever harder situation to deal with. Moving in with him was the best thing I have ever done.His pillow is my pillow now
(It's a large statistic now that young couples like ourselves, usually break up within the first year of living together.It has now been 2 1/2 years. Guess we broke that mold.)

I forget that he is gone and thinking he is going to call or come into the room at any moment.Throughout the day I think what he is doing,what he has eaten today,how tired he is and if he misses home. I jump to my phone now,just knowing that he will be calling. I know it wont be for another 2-3 weeks,but I still do. I miss him.
A lot.
I should be receiving a letter from him within a week or two. I think I will frame it just because I will be so happy to at least know what's going on with him. I just have to keep in mind that he is a big boy and he is not only doing this for him,but for us.



Day 3 and making it.

High blood pressure

Indeed

Joey has now been set back 2 days for it. Instead of leaving tomorrow morning,he will be leaving Thursday.BUT that means one extra night with him than I had before.

I spent the evening with him at the hotel . We had dinner and chilled out watching t.v in the lobby curled up on a couch. I know he is nervous. I see it in him. He has every right to be. This is a major change, a life altering change. For the good. For the good of us. I dont know what I would do without him. I will manage. This is the test, pencil is hand, mind set forward and 100% accuracy is needed.
I drove back crying like a little baby. (a lot like I am right now)

I miss him already and it has only been about 2 hours. I will see him tomorrow for my last couple of hours.

Nine weeks
Nine very hard, grueling, painful weeks

He means the world to me I cannot wait to marry him when he returns.


Must be your skin that I'm sinkin' in
Must be for real cause now I can feel
and I didn't mind
it's not my kind
not my time to wonder why
everything's gone white
and everything's grey
now your here now you away
I don't want this
remember that
I'll never forget where your at
don't let the days go by
glycerine

Departure

So today is the day.
Not much to say this morning, thinking many things but not saying them. I made breakfast and served it in bed for him this morning. Something small but special. We have a few last stops this afternoon before check in in Atlanta.


Few more hours to talk and hold him.




"To the moon"

The last night here

Today is Sunday April 25th 2010

Tonight is the last night Joey will be in the apartment.
For dinner I made his favorite, crab cakes and crab stuffed mushrooms with a vegetable medley. With a finishing touch of wine. With a candle lite and music on, we had our last dinner together.

I did good today.Well not completely. I did have one little upset. A lady at Ingles asked me what the occasion was for the big meal, it hit me then of the reason I am making this meal. As silly as it is,one thing on my mind is what I am going to wear for tomorrow. What is the cutest thing I can find.
He said goodbye to one last friend today,a good one of his. I know they will be around for me when he is gone but it is going to feel weird seeing everyone without Joey beside me.
After coming home,making dinner,a last minute run to Walmart for his supplies,a little ice cream while watching t.v, it is now a quarter to midnight and the day is done and gone. We talked earlier on how fast this time has gone by. 48 days ago I thought we had the a lot of time, now I have a few hours left. I can not explain all the emotions I am feeling right now. They are too strong. Tonight,when I go to bed will be very hard.

This is it.His last night here.



"These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out babe
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away"

Two days

Today was a good day

Rainy but very good. Lunch and a few stores with Joey.Back home for a little more hanging out time. He is currently studying his book and I am writing to not ask him to many questions. Few things on the agenda tomorrow.Making some calls,getting the rest of his 'supplies' and the last dinner I will be making for him at our first apartment together. Lucy,our dog, seems to know (to me at least) that something is up and she has been spending more and more time with him recently.
This past Thursday, we had dinner with my parents at a local Mexican restaurant. We all had a good time,just hurt that there will not be a 'next' dinner at moms. I always looked forward to those.
BUT to stay in a better mind set, I am keeping focused on small things.




Talking about it makes me a nervous wreck.

I'm going to miss him so much I can not explain it.

7 days

One week.
That is all.



Things are being sold,packing has yet to begin and it's a rainy day outside. This all comes together perfect for a freak out by my part this morning as to which I had to leave the room so he wouldn't know it. So the rainy day has nothing to do with it but being nasty outside just makes the day worse. I'm still smoking,which I do regret. He has stopped so why can't I? (no response) We haven't talked much about the upcoming days, I guess it will happen when time gets closer. I have in my mind of what is to come into the room with me when I return to my parents home of his. Clothes will remain hung up and his cologne will stay on the dresser so I can still know his smell when he is gone. You would think he is going to be gone for years but it's only a little over 2 months.

Not much more to report on, just counting down the days.

144 hours

The Last Party

Ok, so it wasn't the last party ever, but it was his last party.

Many people showed up,lots of laughs, lots of food. Our friends, Kelley & Kelsey hosted it at their home. Keg beer, low country boil and pound cake made for a long night and full tummies. My emotions were high and patience of him leaving was low. Many times throughout the night I caught myself looking around thinking this is the last time for a long time we will all be in the same room together. It used to be every weekend we were having these parties. Then once a month,once every other month,now it seems every 7 months. We have all grown up,moved away,started families, and new jobs. It isn't the same as it used to be but the feelings are all still there. The fire was still going the next morning when I woke up at 9. A few hours sleep and it seemed like a distant memory. So much planning and then it was over faster than I could keep up with it.

People said their goodbyes to him and it was over.

I have to keep asking myself "whats one last thing that we would do together today?" I never find anything to get out and do. I guess thats ok though.I'm still with him no matter where we are going.

Selling stuff off this past week,planning to move back to the parents home,making plans to go to Florida to drop Lucy with Debbie until we are back in a house again. (that one is going to be even harder on me.i still have yet to face the feelings I will have over that one)

Keeping a lot in mind........just not so sure my head is big enough.



16 days....and counting

War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.

I have 4 friends who have just lost their husbands to leave to deployment.
Two of them are losing them for a year,one for a month,and the last is in Haiti who will be returning soon. The time they are gone doesn't matter. It's the fact that they have left period that have these women crying and needing them more and more. I don't have the proper words to say to them,only that I will be there to listen to any good or bad day they want to vent to me about. They have all been away from their husbands before so they know the drill but it seems it never gets easier each time. I will be soon facing this and need to know what to prepare for as well.
The one thing that is the hardest that I can not comprehend as of yet is that the have left children behind. I couldn't imagine this. Myself, I do not have any any children and do not know the sacrifice they have made to do what they have listed for.
To me, there is no right or wrong in this. I compare it to toilet paper. Whether you put it on over or under, it's on there right? So what's the problem?
The problem is, all these woman are able to handle it gracefully and me............I'm not so sure I will be able too.
I know I will. I just have it in the back of my mind that the worst will go wrong. I have done more than my share of wrongs these past few weeks. Starting fights over the stupidest of things and letting it all get to me just to cry it out alone. Why? I have no earthly idea. I need to stop. That is my plan. To improve these next few weeks so I will be strong on April 27th. I'm not excited about him leaving but I am excited about the little things I will be doing to myself while he is gone. Silly as it is, making dinner for the parents, paying bills, getting into shape, making sure I spend a lot of time with each friend before I leave as well. Like I said, silly things but it's whats going to keep me going.
To Lacy,Laura,Danielle and Brittany you have made it this far, keep up the good work.


31 days.......and counting

Little Men

Last night, I kept one of my friends Mindy' kids. I love being with the two of them. Cameron being the oldest has the new ways to get you stirred up at any time and Carter coming behind you and taking care of every little thing for you. Both have completely different minds but at the end of the day, both love you more than the day before.
That's due to the fact that their mother has taught them well. To act a kid but also be 'little men'.

Today, their mother and her family suffered a loss.It had been a long battle but the family stuck by made it through till the end.I have not lost a 'family' member in over 3 years but this family has been through so much in so little months its hard to accept that each month brings them together again at a funeral home. Its a sad loss.

I am exhausted. I'm not sure as to how the moms out there do this day in and day out. I had roughly over 24 hours and feel like I've been up for a week straight. (p.s- mindy sorry for the sugar rush they had as well as the knots on their head.)

As I was taking a breather last night and watching cartoons with Cameron, there was a young kid on a boat fishing with many other people. The kid was scared when his fishing pole hooked a shark and the little boy got scared. Cameron then laughed. I made the comment asking if he would be scared if he ever had something that big in front of him. He turned to me,put his little hand on my shoulder and stated,' MimMe don't be scared I'll take care of you forever. I'm a man'
A three year old told me not to be scared. I laughed thinking of he knows the difference of when to be scared and when not to be. And I don't. Something I need to consider these 9 weeks I'll be by myself. To not be scared
Guess I will be calling up a 'little man' to help me out.





Me: 'Did you just poot Cameron?'
Cameron: 'Yeeeaaahhhh'
Me: 'What did you eat?'
Cameron: 'You cooked it,its your fault'

History

History [his-tuh-ree] noun : a branch of knowledge dealing with past events

I have a lot of history with many people here. Kamie, my long lost sister from another mister and I are talking about black-lights and highlighters.If you have ever been a 12 year old girl at midnight with nothing to do, you get creative. Or,experiencing our first beer together in 8th grade hiding behind bushes in her apartment complex so we know when her mom is about to pull up.There are way to many to count and I want to hold many of them to myself because its what can keep me going.I missed something very important to her. I dont need to explain it. We both know what it is. We have made pacts, broke promises and laughed the whole way through.
13 years.
I will be seeing her and her husbands first kid soon. I am thrilled. He is the spitting image of both of them.
I do hope that I find a friend like her where ever it is that I will end up. Not the exact same, there wont be a person in the world that could compare to her.It doesn't matter what it is we talk about,for how long or what time it is, she has helped me more than she knows. The lack of seeing her recently has really got to me. I do know that the distance of where ever we are really wont matter. I just think of us sneaking makeup on in the bathroom in school.
It was simpler back then with friendships.
Who had the prettier Lisa Frank pencils, who was to kiss Nick first or who knew the words to the newest N'Sync song. Now we make lists of what happens for a few weeks at a time cause lord knows when the next time we will talk.
Distance hasn't changed us much these past few years and I don't intend for it to change when I leave.

Now if I can only apply that for when Joey leaves.
I'll be o.k.



"Don't bite the cookie when it's in the oven"

48 Days......and counting

My name is Emily Dippery
I live in Commerce Georgia
I am 23 years old
And my boyfriend leaves for the NAVY in 48 Days

I've decided to write this blog to maybe help my sanity from what I'm feeling recently with this time approaching so fast.
If this works, I'll give a Hail Mary.
Hell, might even do two of them.

Within these 48 days I hope to be able to cope with the fact that I will be able to wake up thinking it will be o.k.
I know soon enough I will be waking up alone.Something I have not done in 3 years.Being a girl,very emotional, I am expected to cry and break down over little petty things that men,who unfortunately are not equipped with tears as much as me, think is stupid. I have done that a lot in the past week. More than I thought I would, more than I need to show. My first time was when one of my best girlfriends asked for me to join her and a few others for a girls night last weekend. I asked Joey, and without being able to finish the sentence, he said to go. He was even going to pay for me to go out,have some 'girl bonding' time and stay up past 10 o'clock. (Which has been my bedtime for quite some time now) He said to go. To leave him there alone. He wanted to be alone. (insert watery eye picture here) I knew there would not be many more Fridays that I would have with him but the thought of him being at home on a Friday night, alone, killed me. Needless to say I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom crying and ended up not going.I made a fool of myself and didn't want my friends to hear about it.He knew what he had said, he meant no harm at all, but the words still hurt.


Joey, my Joey, has put up with me for 3 years now. A defeat in itself alone. He had seen me throw up from to many drinks, cry over silly boys,wreck my car,lose a good friend and endure all the cat fights from girls within our group, all before our first kiss. It took me a long time to get to like him. We had always play fought and hung out,but just because our friends were mutual. I honestly don't think we would have even begun our relationship if we didn't have them in the first place, or even a place to hang out at. (Mike Carron, thank you)

He is funny. Funny all the way from a smile, to making me giggle to a full blown laugh that I cry from.
He cooks. And very well. He makes a mean Teriyaki Salmon.
He cleans. Well....he starts the dishwasher at least. No,he does clean.I have my way of cleaning and he has his.
He is smart. I can ask him about anything and 30 minutes later,he is in so much detail,he forgot the question.
He loves his friends and family. He has the best stories and although many of them end up with someone getting hurt, he still loves telling people about them,
He is an outdoors person.That boy will sit outside with his sunglasses all day and love every minute of it.
He knows music.From Tupac to Garth Brooks,from Sugarland to Dave Matthews.
He is handy.When I need something fixed,its done.Maybe not the way it was before,but it will work.
He adores our dog Lucy,who he has had for many many years.She has been a great addition to our apartment.
He will watch just about any movie there is.Minus the scary ones when I'm around,I cant take them.
He is, my Joey.
And for that I love him.


1,152 more hours


'To the moon'