The beginning of the end

Today was a good day.

Unlike many in the past 2 weeks I spent the day outside the home. A day in Clarkesville with Mindy having my hair cut,colored,a facial and massage! What did I do to deserve this? And for free? All courtesy of Mindy and her school.It was a nice change and something I have never had done before,all at one time that is. I am not "stressed" but it was nice to know that when I am these next two weeks,I did somewhat prepare myself for it all.
My hair looks beautiful and my face as perfect as can be. Thank you Mindy Armour!

This week is very important for me. I go and pick up my husband on Friday morning. He will be back for close to 2 weeks! I have busted my butt in cleaning my room,ready for all the he will store here from his 6 months gone. The day is finally here and I cannot stop time to slow it down,nor do I want too,I do want him home,I am just not prepared for the goodbyes that are about to ensue. Many of them I will cry,few I will flip a finger to.(you know who you are)
We have not found a home yet in Norfolk,it will be done in time before we move,it is a painful task for those who have uprooted their entire life and moved out of state,we all share this feeling. Though I am not the only one of my kind to do so,I keep that in mind.Many women before me have done it,why can't I?




I CAN AND I WILL!!


This morning as I enter Mindy's school,I hear tiny footsteps come rushing from behind my back,it was Cameron.He gave me the biggest smile,hug and kiss and said he missed me.(it had only been 5 days since I have last seen him,but seems like 5 years)
That boy,I am going to miss more than words can say.
With our possessions %80 packed,I am about to enter "hell week"
The beginning of the end.



Thank you all for the support,shoulders,ears and eyes through-out this process.
Started with 48 days to go,now I am 72 hours away from having Joey back to me.




"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul and to me, this has always been enough."

Long days and nights

It has been a long time since I have wrote. Many things have happened in the past 2 months.

When I last wrote,it was me and Joeys last day in Chicago for his graduation. He has since gone to Pensacola for his A school. We were married there on July 30th. We are going to be stationed in Norfolk,Va. With the distance of 7 1/2 hours the toll is almost as hard as him being in Chicago. we only have 3 weeks left and it has really started to get to me. This past week has been the hardest. He has been sick with pneumonia as well as my dad being sick and in the hospital for 5 days. Both are feeling much better. I feel so helpless,couldn't help Joey nor my dad.With trips to the hospital daily and then attempting to speak to Joey and make sure things were ok for him. Been a whirl wind experience. Keeping myself busy with friends and cleaning anything I can get my hands on(it passes the time quickly)Lack of sleep,bad choices of food on the run,house turned upside down, I am ready for a vacation to put it all behind me. It will all work itself out,just getting there is the problem. I thought the first deployment was going to be hard.Try marrying,then immediately leaving to go back home,without your husband.

Long days and even longer nights.

It's just the first year,oh lord

My last day

Tomorrow is my last day in the city with Joey
The past two days have been good. Very weird I might add. It came as a shock to me that I was so quiet around him.I have many things to say but for some reason.....can't get them out!

Being away for so long,people might think that it makes you grow closer.I know we have but being quiet beside him is not my typical daily routine. Knowing I can't run up to him and plop a big kiss on him or hold his hand (him being in uniform,he has a certain 'code of conduct' he has to uphold)
I respect him and the choice he has made for himself and for me,but I am having a hard time understanding as to why he has done this now. Things have changed.Not in the bad way some may think when I say that,but in a way we have never been before. You would think being in a city as large as Chicago,you would go crazy about the sights,people and the noises. It has been all a distraction for me. I am only focusing on him, and nothing else.

Graduation was wonderful yesterday.Pictures will be up soon.I can not explain the feeling I had when the doors rolled up after much anticipation and you have 438 men and women behind them,all marching,loudly I might add and come marching in. It was quit a sight to see.I wish all his friends could have been there to see him.I spotted him within 10 seconds of him entering the building. Approaching him in his Navy 'whites' was a very nervous feeling for me. Handsome as ever,but I was very intimidated!


Tomorrow is a new day and we will be together alone walking around and we can take our time and be able hopefully to get back in tune as to where I done cry every time I look at him.

I thought that the day he left was going to be hard.
I have no clue as to what I have in store for my emotions tomorrow.Wish me the best.
Waterproof mascara......here I come


Got some Neil Young in my head:

"Once I thought I saw you
In a crowded hazy bar
Dancing on the light from the star to star
Far across the moonbeams
I know that's who you are
I saw your brown eyes turning once to fire

You are like a hurricane
There's calm in your eyes
And I'm getting blown away
To somewhere safer where feelings stay
I want to love you
But I'm getting blown away

I am just a dreamer
But you are just a dream
You could have been anyone to me
Before that moment you touched my lips
That perfect feeling when time just slips
Away between us on your foggy trips"





to the moon joey
more than ever

Eve of Graduation

SOOOOOOO..............


It's 1154.PM and it is the eve of Joey's graduation. I have been in Chicago for two three days now and cannot wait till tomorrow.This has been a very long day. Walking around downtown Chicago for the second day in a row with flip flops and it being 900 million degress(actually only 89) all adds up to one very anxious girl on the verge of a breakdown(not really but I like to think of it that way)

A few hours from now I will be seeing him graduate and my feelings cannot be explained right now.
I have made it through bootcamp.

Success.

I got my call yesterday from him and the words "I am a sailor baby" were said,without hesitation......my eyes blew up with tears. Im in Chicago and crying my eyes out.

But It's all over now.
Need to get into bed now.

Long day ahead of me tomorrow.

MY departure day!

So today I am leaving for Chicago.
If you know me,then you know that I have been stir crazy and cannot shut up or would not shut up. Thanks for putting up with me. You know who you are.My thanks to you all are more than appreciated and our friendship has grown.

I have everything except for hangers in my suitcase. I have over packed,yet again. Last night I was ok. This morning,uuugggghhhhhh
I about freaked out. Its just the anxious flowing throughout my mind and it has got the best of me. But,I am ready.
This past weekend I reminded myself of how close me and Joey really are.Thinking of all the good and bad times we have experienced together. It made me laugh,it made me cry.There is one time that pops out more than others. Driving down the road to get a midnight milkshake and he was smiling.It was a smile I hadn't seen before. At that point I didn't realize that it was a "Oh,I think I love this girl" smile. It took me a few days to give that smile back.I wanted to make sure I felt it the same way. Three days later,I said it.
And our story began.

Since July 15th 2009, we have been on a whirlwind experience and the day that I dreaded(him leaving) has came and gone. I am proud of myself yet,shocked because I didn't think I would have been so 'o.k' with it.
Now it is the week of seeing him and the day I leave. Many people said it will go by fast,and I wont lie,it has.(Having strong people around me has help also)
He has missed out on quite a lot not being in the dot-on-the-map Maysville. I have kept quiet on a lot of things but lord,I am going to spill it all out when I see him.
I will be taking many pictures on the trip and plan to make sure he sees each and everyone of them. He deserves to see the great city of Chicago just as much as I do.

First leg of the Navy journey down,86729594760285938574982059 more to go.



"To the moon"

Solitaire

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.........


.........Actually..........I don't!

I'm sure everyone has heard that song once in their life. It seems to be my theme song here recently.
"Ok....I'll do this for an hour,then move onto something else for 2 hours then it will be.....2:30pm.....grrrr"
What in the world,why is time passing so slowly? Is it just me people? Guessing not by the head shaking that followed.
I have 23 days till My Joey gets home. I am on a downward slope and time is just not on my side here recently. I get involved in something and I just can't stay focused. Evey little thing reminds me of him. Not to mention the box I just unpacked of our paperwork neither of us every goes through just because it is so time consuming.
It took me 13 minutes.

We are so unsettled right now. For the past 3 years we have been living somewhat out of boxes. It's a hard concept to grasp when those who know us knew we had an apartment together. But even then,we knew our time was short there and didn't fully unpack everything. I had a fit earlier when the under the bed bag I put Joey's clothes in wouldn't fit under the bed. I did not want it in the rooms downstairs. I want it here with me. I even need his cologne next to my bed. Just so when I walk by I get a whiff of it every now and then.
It has only been a few weeks and I am this bad. We have a loooonnnnngggggg road ahead of us and this is how I am being for boot camp. [insert Homer Simpson head slap and 'DOH!' here]

I was able to speak to him for a while this past Sunday. I cried for the first 3 minutes. Uncontrollably. He finally got me under control and then......I lost it again.He is doing ok so far. Blew out his knee,and being in physical therapy has made him a little stronger. He will be able to do "Hell Week". Which is exactly what it sounds like.
Each division goes through firefighting,flooding,team building and much much more for a few days together. Joeys favorite part is going to be the guns. I don't know what they are shooting,I just know they will have bullets and they are really loud. We talked about the move, Florida and.......marriage. We have decided to get married as soon as we can. Next month we will be married to each other. It is something a girl dreams of. I, am terrified. Not to be married to him, but the experience as a whole. I know we will make it.(just look what we have been through already) The dress,the invitations,the guest list,the flowers,the ......cake. Lord I am so picky. We will be going to the courthouse first and then a larger wedding down the road when he is more settled as to where he will be.And me to of course. I told him some things I have been doing. And I heard of what he has been up to as well. He sounded different.His voice was,older. He was tired and worn out beyond belief. More than I could imagine. More than I wanted too.He has a few friends there but a 90% of the time they can't talk.He is living a life of solitude while I am playing Solitaire.
In 23 days people can accomplish many things. I am just trying to make it out alive. The Chicago trip is coming on fast and I have mixed emotions of excitement and nervousness. Time will tell.

A storm is rolling in right now.There is an eerie silence outside. The calm before the storm if you will. Peaceful yet nerve racking. Not sure as to which I am more afraid of.


Oasis never said it more perfectly
"Now that your mine
I'll find a way
Of chasing the sun
Let me be the one that shines with you
In the morning when you don't know what to do
We're two of a kind
We'll find a way
To do what we've done"

24 days in....

Been a while since my last post. Florida was great.Just enough sun and plenty to keep me busy. Been home for a week but each day is getting harder and harder for me.I should be looking at the glass half empty instead of half full(it's in my mind that way,hard to change that fact)
This past week has been full of getting my room to a somewhat 'normal' state and plenty of hanging out with friends.Days are moving by faster than I thought. Guess it helps that I am watching about 2 movies a day.Makes me sound like a slob but hey,it's the truth.

I received my first letter from Joey yesterday.He is doing well. Better than I imagined. I just hope that feeling continues as the days get more intense for him. As I was reading it,I heard his voice in the background with the 'lol's' and 'ha-ha's'. His wisdom teeth were pulled(a feat in itself) and did not even suffer.Made my stomach turn thinking of him going through something that scary without me. (And for those who say any type of teeth pulling is not a big deal,they are lying. It is and no one is ever quite prepared for it.)
He misses me. Something in the back of my mind was saying he was glad to get away from me and everyone else but I know now that wasn't the case. He was worried that the move and what I have to go through is becoming to much for me to handle. Figures.....he has one of the hardest jobs around and he is worried about me. I don't tell him every little thing of what goes wrong,there's no need to do that. He has to stay focused and as do I.

I am going to marry that boy,you watch and see



''we said we'd walk together baby come what may
that come the twilight should we lose our way
if as we are walkin' a hand should slip free
ill wait for you
and should I fall behind
wait for me......''



35 days
(to the moon)