Indeed
Joey has now been set back 2 days for it. Instead of leaving tomorrow morning,he will be leaving Thursday.BUT that means one extra night with him than I had before.
I spent the evening with him at the hotel . We had dinner and chilled out watching t.v in the lobby curled up on a couch. I know he is nervous. I see it in him. He has every right to be. This is a major change, a life altering change. For the good. For the good of us. I dont know what I would do without him. I will manage. This is the test, pencil is hand, mind set forward and 100% accuracy is needed.
I drove back crying like a little baby. (a lot like I am right now)
I miss him already and it has only been about 2 hours. I will see him tomorrow for my last couple of hours.
Nine weeks
Nine very hard, grueling, painful weeks
He means the world to me I cannot wait to marry him when he returns.
Must be your skin that I'm sinkin' in
Must be for real cause now I can feel
and I didn't mind
it's not my kind
not my time to wonder why
everything's gone white
and everything's grey
now your here now you away
I don't want this
remember that
I'll never forget where your at
don't let the days go by
glycerine
So today is the day.
Not much to say this morning, thinking many things but not saying them. I made breakfast and served it in bed for him this morning. Something small but special. We have a few last stops this afternoon before check in in Atlanta.
Few more hours to talk and hold him.
"To the moon"
Today is Sunday April 25th 2010
Tonight is the last night Joey will be in the apartment.
For dinner I made his favorite, crab cakes and crab stuffed mushrooms with a vegetable medley. With a finishing touch of wine. With a candle lite and music on, we had our last dinner together.
I did good today.Well not completely. I did have one little upset. A lady at Ingles asked me what the occasion was for the big meal, it hit me then of the reason I am making this meal. As silly as it is,one thing on my mind is what I am going to wear for tomorrow. What is the cutest thing I can find.
He said goodbye to one last friend today,a good one of his. I know they will be around for me when he is gone but it is going to feel weird seeing everyone without Joey beside me.
After coming home,making dinner,a last minute run to Walmart for his supplies,a little ice cream while watching t.v, it is now a quarter to midnight and the day is done and gone. We talked earlier on how fast this time has gone by. 48 days ago I thought we had the a lot of time, now I have a few hours left. I can not explain all the emotions I am feeling right now. They are too strong. Tonight,when I go to bed will be very hard.
This is it.His last night here.
"These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out babe
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away"
Today was a good day
Rainy but very good. Lunch and a few stores with Joey.Back home for a little more hanging out time. He is currently studying his book and I am writing to not ask him to many questions. Few things on the agenda tomorrow.Making some calls,getting the rest of his 'supplies' and the last dinner I will be making for him at our first apartment together. Lucy,our dog, seems to know (to me at least) that something is up and she has been spending more and more time with him recently.
This past Thursday, we had dinner with my parents at a local Mexican restaurant. We all had a good time,just hurt that there will not be a 'next' dinner at moms. I always looked forward to those.
BUT to stay in a better mind set, I am keeping focused on small things.
Talking about it makes me a nervous wreck.
I'm going to miss him so much I can not explain it.
One week.
That is all.
Things are being sold,packing has yet to begin and it's a rainy day outside. This all comes together perfect for a freak out by my part this morning as to which I had to leave the room so he wouldn't know it. So the rainy day has nothing to do with it but being nasty outside just makes the day worse. I'm still smoking,which I do regret. He has stopped so why can't I? (no response) We haven't talked much about the upcoming days, I guess it will happen when time gets closer. I have in my mind of what is to come into the room with me when I return to my parents home of his. Clothes will remain hung up and his cologne will stay on the dresser so I can still know his smell when he is gone. You would think he is going to be gone for years but it's only a little over 2 months.
Not much more to report on, just counting down the days.
144 hours
Ok, so it wasn't the last party ever, but it was his last party.
Many people showed up,lots of laughs, lots of food. Our friends, Kelley & Kelsey hosted it at their home. Keg beer, low country boil and pound cake made for a long night and full tummies. My emotions were high and patience of him leaving was low. Many times throughout the night I caught myself looking around thinking this is the last time for a long time we will all be in the same room together. It used to be every weekend we were having these parties. Then once a month,once every other month,now it seems every 7 months. We have all grown up,moved away,started families, and new jobs. It isn't the same as it used to be but the feelings are all still there. The fire was still going the next morning when I woke up at 9. A few hours sleep and it seemed like a distant memory. So much planning and then it was over faster than I could keep up with it.
People said their goodbyes to him and it was over.
I have to keep asking myself "whats one last thing that we would do together today?" I never find anything to get out and do. I guess thats ok though.I'm still with him no matter where we are going.
Selling stuff off this past week,planning to move back to the parents home,making plans to go to Florida to drop Lucy with Debbie until we are back in a house again. (that one is going to be even harder on me.i still have yet to face the feelings I will have over that one)
Keeping a lot in mind........just not so sure my head is big enough.
16 days....and counting
