I have 4 friends who have just lost their husbands to leave to deployment.
Two of them are losing them for a year,one for a month,and the last is in Haiti who will be returning soon. The time they are gone doesn't matter. It's the fact that they have left period that have these women crying and needing them more and more. I don't have the proper words to say to them,only that I will be there to listen to any good or bad day they want to vent to me about. They have all been away from their husbands before so they know the drill but it seems it never gets easier each time. I will be soon facing this and need to know what to prepare for as well.
The one thing that is the hardest that I can not comprehend as of yet is that the have left children behind. I couldn't imagine this. Myself, I do not have any any children and do not know the sacrifice they have made to do what they have listed for.
To me, there is no right or wrong in this. I compare it to toilet paper. Whether you put it on over or under, it's on there right? So what's the problem?
The problem is, all these woman are able to handle it gracefully and me............I'm not so sure I will be able too.
I know I will. I just have it in the back of my mind that the worst will go wrong. I have done more than my share of wrongs these past few weeks. Starting fights over the stupidest of things and letting it all get to me just to cry it out alone. Why? I have no earthly idea. I need to stop. That is my plan. To improve these next few weeks so I will be strong on April 27th. I'm not excited about him leaving but I am excited about the little things I will be doing to myself while he is gone. Silly as it is, making dinner for the parents, paying bills, getting into shape, making sure I spend a lot of time with each friend before I leave as well. Like I said, silly things but it's whats going to keep me going.
To Lacy,Laura,Danielle and Brittany you have made it this far, keep up the good work.
31 days.......and counting
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Little Men
Last night, I kept one of my friends Mindy' kids. I love being with the two of them. Cameron being the oldest has the new ways to get you stirred up at any time and Carter coming behind you and taking care of every little thing for you. Both have completely different minds but at the end of the day, both love you more than the day before.
That's due to the fact that their mother has taught them well. To act a kid but also be 'little men'.
Today, their mother and her family suffered a loss.It had been a long battle but the family stuck by made it through till the end.I have not lost a 'family' member in over 3 years but this family has been through so much in so little months its hard to accept that each month brings them together again at a funeral home. Its a sad loss.
I am exhausted. I'm not sure as to how the moms out there do this day in and day out. I had roughly over 24 hours and feel like I've been up for a week straight. (p.s- mindy sorry for the sugar rush they had as well as the knots on their head.)
As I was taking a breather last night and watching cartoons with Cameron, there was a young kid on a boat fishing with many other people. The kid was scared when his fishing pole hooked a shark and the little boy got scared. Cameron then laughed. I made the comment asking if he would be scared if he ever had something that big in front of him. He turned to me,put his little hand on my shoulder and stated,' MimMe don't be scared I'll take care of you forever. I'm a man'
A three year old told me not to be scared. I laughed thinking of he knows the difference of when to be scared and when not to be. And I don't. Something I need to consider these 9 weeks I'll be by myself. To not be scared
Guess I will be calling up a 'little man' to help me out.
Me: 'Did you just poot Cameron?'
Cameron: 'Yeeeaaahhhh'
Me: 'What did you eat?'
Cameron: 'You cooked it,its your fault'
That's due to the fact that their mother has taught them well. To act a kid but also be 'little men'.
Today, their mother and her family suffered a loss.It had been a long battle but the family stuck by made it through till the end.I have not lost a 'family' member in over 3 years but this family has been through so much in so little months its hard to accept that each month brings them together again at a funeral home. Its a sad loss.
I am exhausted. I'm not sure as to how the moms out there do this day in and day out. I had roughly over 24 hours and feel like I've been up for a week straight. (p.s- mindy sorry for the sugar rush they had as well as the knots on their head.)
As I was taking a breather last night and watching cartoons with Cameron, there was a young kid on a boat fishing with many other people. The kid was scared when his fishing pole hooked a shark and the little boy got scared. Cameron then laughed. I made the comment asking if he would be scared if he ever had something that big in front of him. He turned to me,put his little hand on my shoulder and stated,' MimMe don't be scared I'll take care of you forever. I'm a man'
A three year old told me not to be scared. I laughed thinking of he knows the difference of when to be scared and when not to be. And I don't. Something I need to consider these 9 weeks I'll be by myself. To not be scared
Guess I will be calling up a 'little man' to help me out.
Me: 'Did you just poot Cameron?'
Cameron: 'Yeeeaaahhhh'
Me: 'What did you eat?'
Cameron: 'You cooked it,its your fault'
Thursday, March 11, 2010
History
History [his-tuh-ree] noun : a branch of knowledge dealing with past events
I have a lot of history with many people here. Kamie, my long lost sister from another mister and I are talking about black-lights and highlighters.If you have ever been a 12 year old girl at midnight with nothing to do, you get creative. Or,experiencing our first beer together in 8th grade hiding behind bushes in her apartment complex so we know when her mom is about to pull up.There are way to many to count and I want to hold many of them to myself because its what can keep me going.I missed something very important to her. I dont need to explain it. We both know what it is. We have made pacts, broke promises and laughed the whole way through.
13 years.
I will be seeing her and her husbands first kid soon. I am thrilled. He is the spitting image of both of them.
I do hope that I find a friend like her where ever it is that I will end up. Not the exact same, there wont be a person in the world that could compare to her.It doesn't matter what it is we talk about,for how long or what time it is, she has helped me more than she knows. The lack of seeing her recently has really got to me. I do know that the distance of where ever we are really wont matter. I just think of us sneaking makeup on in the bathroom in school.
It was simpler back then with friendships.
Who had the prettier Lisa Frank pencils, who was to kiss Nick first or who knew the words to the newest N'Sync song. Now we make lists of what happens for a few weeks at a time cause lord knows when the next time we will talk.
Distance hasn't changed us much these past few years and I don't intend for it to change when I leave.
Now if I can only apply that for when Joey leaves.
I'll be o.k.
"Don't bite the cookie when it's in the oven"
I have a lot of history with many people here. Kamie, my long lost sister from another mister and I are talking about black-lights and highlighters.If you have ever been a 12 year old girl at midnight with nothing to do, you get creative. Or,experiencing our first beer together in 8th grade hiding behind bushes in her apartment complex so we know when her mom is about to pull up.There are way to many to count and I want to hold many of them to myself because its what can keep me going.I missed something very important to her. I dont need to explain it. We both know what it is. We have made pacts, broke promises and laughed the whole way through.
13 years.
I will be seeing her and her husbands first kid soon. I am thrilled. He is the spitting image of both of them.
I do hope that I find a friend like her where ever it is that I will end up. Not the exact same, there wont be a person in the world that could compare to her.It doesn't matter what it is we talk about,for how long or what time it is, she has helped me more than she knows. The lack of seeing her recently has really got to me. I do know that the distance of where ever we are really wont matter. I just think of us sneaking makeup on in the bathroom in school.
It was simpler back then with friendships.
Who had the prettier Lisa Frank pencils, who was to kiss Nick first or who knew the words to the newest N'Sync song. Now we make lists of what happens for a few weeks at a time cause lord knows when the next time we will talk.
Distance hasn't changed us much these past few years and I don't intend for it to change when I leave.
Now if I can only apply that for when Joey leaves.
I'll be o.k.
"Don't bite the cookie when it's in the oven"
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
48 Days......and counting
My name is Emily Dippery
I live in Commerce Georgia
I am 23 years old
And my boyfriend leaves for the NAVY in 48 Days
I've decided to write this blog to maybe help my sanity from what I'm feeling recently with this time approaching so fast.
If this works, I'll give a Hail Mary.
Hell, might even do two of them.
Within these 48 days I hope to be able to cope with the fact that I will be able to wake up thinking it will be o.k.
I know soon enough I will be waking up alone.Something I have not done in 3 years.Being a girl,very emotional, I am expected to cry and break down over little petty things that men,who unfortunately are not equipped with tears as much as me, think is stupid. I have done that a lot in the past week. More than I thought I would, more than I need to show. My first time was when one of my best girlfriends asked for me to join her and a few others for a girls night last weekend. I asked Joey, and without being able to finish the sentence, he said to go. He was even going to pay for me to go out,have some 'girl bonding' time and stay up past 10 o'clock. (Which has been my bedtime for quite some time now) He said to go. To leave him there alone. He wanted to be alone. (insert watery eye picture here) I knew there would not be many more Fridays that I would have with him but the thought of him being at home on a Friday night, alone, killed me. Needless to say I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom crying and ended up not going.I made a fool of myself and didn't want my friends to hear about it.He knew what he had said, he meant no harm at all, but the words still hurt.
Joey, my Joey, has put up with me for 3 years now. A defeat in itself alone. He had seen me throw up from to many drinks, cry over silly boys,wreck my car,lose a good friend and endure all the cat fights from girls within our group, all before our first kiss. It took me a long time to get to like him. We had always play fought and hung out,but just because our friends were mutual. I honestly don't think we would have even begun our relationship if we didn't have them in the first place, or even a place to hang out at. (Mike Carron, thank you)
He is funny. Funny all the way from a smile, to making me giggle to a full blown laugh that I cry from.
He cooks. And very well. He makes a mean Teriyaki Salmon.
He cleans. Well....he starts the dishwasher at least. No,he does clean.I have my way of cleaning and he has his.
He is smart. I can ask him about anything and 30 minutes later,he is in so much detail,he forgot the question.
He loves his friends and family. He has the best stories and although many of them end up with someone getting hurt, he still loves telling people about them,
He is an outdoors person.That boy will sit outside with his sunglasses all day and love every minute of it.
He knows music.From Tupac to Garth Brooks,from Sugarland to Dave Matthews.
He is handy.When I need something fixed,its done.Maybe not the way it was before,but it will work.
He adores our dog Lucy,who he has had for many many years.She has been a great addition to our apartment.
He will watch just about any movie there is.Minus the scary ones when I'm around,I cant take them.
He is, my Joey.
And for that I love him.
1,152 more hours
'To the moon'
I live in Commerce Georgia
I am 23 years old
And my boyfriend leaves for the NAVY in 48 Days
I've decided to write this blog to maybe help my sanity from what I'm feeling recently with this time approaching so fast.
If this works, I'll give a Hail Mary.
Hell, might even do two of them.
Within these 48 days I hope to be able to cope with the fact that I will be able to wake up thinking it will be o.k.
I know soon enough I will be waking up alone.Something I have not done in 3 years.Being a girl,very emotional, I am expected to cry and break down over little petty things that men,who unfortunately are not equipped with tears as much as me, think is stupid. I have done that a lot in the past week. More than I thought I would, more than I need to show. My first time was when one of my best girlfriends asked for me to join her and a few others for a girls night last weekend. I asked Joey, and without being able to finish the sentence, he said to go. He was even going to pay for me to go out,have some 'girl bonding' time and stay up past 10 o'clock. (Which has been my bedtime for quite some time now) He said to go. To leave him there alone. He wanted to be alone. (insert watery eye picture here) I knew there would not be many more Fridays that I would have with him but the thought of him being at home on a Friday night, alone, killed me. Needless to say I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom crying and ended up not going.I made a fool of myself and didn't want my friends to hear about it.He knew what he had said, he meant no harm at all, but the words still hurt.
Joey, my Joey, has put up with me for 3 years now. A defeat in itself alone. He had seen me throw up from to many drinks, cry over silly boys,wreck my car,lose a good friend and endure all the cat fights from girls within our group, all before our first kiss. It took me a long time to get to like him. We had always play fought and hung out,but just because our friends were mutual. I honestly don't think we would have even begun our relationship if we didn't have them in the first place, or even a place to hang out at. (Mike Carron, thank you)
He is funny. Funny all the way from a smile, to making me giggle to a full blown laugh that I cry from.
He cooks. And very well. He makes a mean Teriyaki Salmon.
He cleans. Well....he starts the dishwasher at least. No,he does clean.I have my way of cleaning and he has his.
He is smart. I can ask him about anything and 30 minutes later,he is in so much detail,he forgot the question.
He loves his friends and family. He has the best stories and although many of them end up with someone getting hurt, he still loves telling people about them,
He is an outdoors person.That boy will sit outside with his sunglasses all day and love every minute of it.
He knows music.From Tupac to Garth Brooks,from Sugarland to Dave Matthews.
He is handy.When I need something fixed,its done.Maybe not the way it was before,but it will work.
He adores our dog Lucy,who he has had for many many years.She has been a great addition to our apartment.
He will watch just about any movie there is.Minus the scary ones when I'm around,I cant take them.
He is, my Joey.
And for that I love him.
1,152 more hours
'To the moon'
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