My last day

Tomorrow is my last day in the city with Joey
The past two days have been good. Very weird I might add. It came as a shock to me that I was so quiet around him.I have many things to say but for some reason.....can't get them out!

Being away for so long,people might think that it makes you grow closer.I know we have but being quiet beside him is not my typical daily routine. Knowing I can't run up to him and plop a big kiss on him or hold his hand (him being in uniform,he has a certain 'code of conduct' he has to uphold)
I respect him and the choice he has made for himself and for me,but I am having a hard time understanding as to why he has done this now. Things have changed.Not in the bad way some may think when I say that,but in a way we have never been before. You would think being in a city as large as Chicago,you would go crazy about the sights,people and the noises. It has been all a distraction for me. I am only focusing on him, and nothing else.

Graduation was wonderful yesterday.Pictures will be up soon.I can not explain the feeling I had when the doors rolled up after much anticipation and you have 438 men and women behind them,all marching,loudly I might add and come marching in. It was quit a sight to see.I wish all his friends could have been there to see him.I spotted him within 10 seconds of him entering the building. Approaching him in his Navy 'whites' was a very nervous feeling for me. Handsome as ever,but I was very intimidated!


Tomorrow is a new day and we will be together alone walking around and we can take our time and be able hopefully to get back in tune as to where I done cry every time I look at him.

I thought that the day he left was going to be hard.
I have no clue as to what I have in store for my emotions tomorrow.Wish me the best.
Waterproof mascara......here I come


Got some Neil Young in my head:

"Once I thought I saw you
In a crowded hazy bar
Dancing on the light from the star to star
Far across the moonbeams
I know that's who you are
I saw your brown eyes turning once to fire

You are like a hurricane
There's calm in your eyes
And I'm getting blown away
To somewhere safer where feelings stay
I want to love you
But I'm getting blown away

I am just a dreamer
But you are just a dream
You could have been anyone to me
Before that moment you touched my lips
That perfect feeling when time just slips
Away between us on your foggy trips"





to the moon joey
more than ever

Eve of Graduation

SOOOOOOO..............


It's 1154.PM and it is the eve of Joey's graduation. I have been in Chicago for two three days now and cannot wait till tomorrow.This has been a very long day. Walking around downtown Chicago for the second day in a row with flip flops and it being 900 million degress(actually only 89) all adds up to one very anxious girl on the verge of a breakdown(not really but I like to think of it that way)

A few hours from now I will be seeing him graduate and my feelings cannot be explained right now.
I have made it through bootcamp.

Success.

I got my call yesterday from him and the words "I am a sailor baby" were said,without hesitation......my eyes blew up with tears. Im in Chicago and crying my eyes out.

But It's all over now.
Need to get into bed now.

Long day ahead of me tomorrow.

MY departure day!

So today I am leaving for Chicago.
If you know me,then you know that I have been stir crazy and cannot shut up or would not shut up. Thanks for putting up with me. You know who you are.My thanks to you all are more than appreciated and our friendship has grown.

I have everything except for hangers in my suitcase. I have over packed,yet again. Last night I was ok. This morning,uuugggghhhhhh
I about freaked out. Its just the anxious flowing throughout my mind and it has got the best of me. But,I am ready.
This past weekend I reminded myself of how close me and Joey really are.Thinking of all the good and bad times we have experienced together. It made me laugh,it made me cry.There is one time that pops out more than others. Driving down the road to get a midnight milkshake and he was smiling.It was a smile I hadn't seen before. At that point I didn't realize that it was a "Oh,I think I love this girl" smile. It took me a few days to give that smile back.I wanted to make sure I felt it the same way. Three days later,I said it.
And our story began.

Since July 15th 2009, we have been on a whirlwind experience and the day that I dreaded(him leaving) has came and gone. I am proud of myself yet,shocked because I didn't think I would have been so 'o.k' with it.
Now it is the week of seeing him and the day I leave. Many people said it will go by fast,and I wont lie,it has.(Having strong people around me has help also)
He has missed out on quite a lot not being in the dot-on-the-map Maysville. I have kept quiet on a lot of things but lord,I am going to spill it all out when I see him.
I will be taking many pictures on the trip and plan to make sure he sees each and everyone of them. He deserves to see the great city of Chicago just as much as I do.

First leg of the Navy journey down,86729594760285938574982059 more to go.



"To the moon"

Solitaire

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.........


.........Actually..........I don't!

I'm sure everyone has heard that song once in their life. It seems to be my theme song here recently.
"Ok....I'll do this for an hour,then move onto something else for 2 hours then it will be.....2:30pm.....grrrr"
What in the world,why is time passing so slowly? Is it just me people? Guessing not by the head shaking that followed.
I have 23 days till My Joey gets home. I am on a downward slope and time is just not on my side here recently. I get involved in something and I just can't stay focused. Evey little thing reminds me of him. Not to mention the box I just unpacked of our paperwork neither of us every goes through just because it is so time consuming.
It took me 13 minutes.

We are so unsettled right now. For the past 3 years we have been living somewhat out of boxes. It's a hard concept to grasp when those who know us knew we had an apartment together. But even then,we knew our time was short there and didn't fully unpack everything. I had a fit earlier when the under the bed bag I put Joey's clothes in wouldn't fit under the bed. I did not want it in the rooms downstairs. I want it here with me. I even need his cologne next to my bed. Just so when I walk by I get a whiff of it every now and then.
It has only been a few weeks and I am this bad. We have a loooonnnnngggggg road ahead of us and this is how I am being for boot camp. [insert Homer Simpson head slap and 'DOH!' here]

I was able to speak to him for a while this past Sunday. I cried for the first 3 minutes. Uncontrollably. He finally got me under control and then......I lost it again.He is doing ok so far. Blew out his knee,and being in physical therapy has made him a little stronger. He will be able to do "Hell Week". Which is exactly what it sounds like.
Each division goes through firefighting,flooding,team building and much much more for a few days together. Joeys favorite part is going to be the guns. I don't know what they are shooting,I just know they will have bullets and they are really loud. We talked about the move, Florida and.......marriage. We have decided to get married as soon as we can. Next month we will be married to each other. It is something a girl dreams of. I, am terrified. Not to be married to him, but the experience as a whole. I know we will make it.(just look what we have been through already) The dress,the invitations,the guest list,the flowers,the ......cake. Lord I am so picky. We will be going to the courthouse first and then a larger wedding down the road when he is more settled as to where he will be.And me to of course. I told him some things I have been doing. And I heard of what he has been up to as well. He sounded different.His voice was,older. He was tired and worn out beyond belief. More than I could imagine. More than I wanted too.He has a few friends there but a 90% of the time they can't talk.He is living a life of solitude while I am playing Solitaire.
In 23 days people can accomplish many things. I am just trying to make it out alive. The Chicago trip is coming on fast and I have mixed emotions of excitement and nervousness. Time will tell.

A storm is rolling in right now.There is an eerie silence outside. The calm before the storm if you will. Peaceful yet nerve racking. Not sure as to which I am more afraid of.


Oasis never said it more perfectly
"Now that your mine
I'll find a way
Of chasing the sun
Let me be the one that shines with you
In the morning when you don't know what to do
We're two of a kind
We'll find a way
To do what we've done"